Teach Me To Trust
by Angel5000
Summary: When Obi-Wan is accepted by Master Na’em Retsam after his battle with Bruck he thinks he’s in heaven. But soon things begin happening that make him fear for his safety. Will Qui-Gon be able to save Obi-Wan before it’s too late or will Obi-Wan have t
1. In The Beginning...

Teach Me To Trust

**Teach Me To Trust**

**Author: **Padme

**Author Email: **[freckles5000@hotmail.com][1]

**Disclaimer: **These characters, and the Star Wars universe, belong to George Lucas, and not me. The only characters that I made up were Instructor Anteles and Master Na'em Retsam, although I'd rather not claim him. (If anyone is looking for a Jedi Master – you can have Na'em – I DON'T want him!).

**Summary: **When Obi-Wan is accepted by Master Na'em Retsam after his battle with Bruck he thinks he's in heaven. But soon things begin happening that make him fear for his safety. Will Qui-Gon be able to save Obi-Wan before it's too late or will Obi-Wan have to find a way out of this on his own? 

**Author Note: **I've taken a piece of JA1, The Rising Force, and placed it in this story. It is marked by two ** at the beginning and end of the excerpt. There are paragraphs I have removed though, and I have replaced the name Qui-Gon with Na'em Retsam. Also the name _imp _was borrowed from someone else – I'm not sure where I heard it but when looking through my thesaurus I saw it as a replacement word for rascal, or mischievous child, so I used it. Sorry if I stole it from someone. J

**Warning: **This story is totally AU for JA – please don't read this expecting things to be the same.

**Warning 2: **If the idea of abuse (physical) of a minor (13 yr old) bothers you DO NOT read any further. This story contains much of that sort of thing and if it upsets you then **DO NOT READ**. Thank-you.

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Obi-Wan sat huddled in a ball in the corner of the room. His legs were pulled up to his chest, his eyes red and swollen from crying, and his back was on fire. Silently the thirteen-year-old boy buried his face in his arms and attempted to discover how he got himself into this situation. Really it had started a year ago, just before he had become a Padawan…

**Bruck's red lightsaber crackled and hissed as Obi-Wan desperately tried to parry with his own. For the fourth time in less than a day the two boys were locked in combat, grunting and struggling.

Obi-Wan's muscles ached. Sweat drenched his thick tunic. Bruck's toughness surprised him. The boy was fighting desperately, as though his life depended on it. Obi-Wan realized that Bruck was just as afraid of not being chosen as a Jedi apprentice as he was. 

But Obi-Wan would match Bruck's toughness with his own, and then push even harder. This was this one last chance.

Bruck's blade hummed as it angled toward Obi-Wan's throat. A touch there would signal a killing blow, and Obi-Wan would lose the bout.

A cry rose up from the crowd seated in the shadows surrounding the battle arena. Masters and students had gathered to watch the fight. Obi-Wan could not see them – he could only hear their shouts and encouragement. Overhead, AJTD6 whisked around, monitoring the match as referee.

"Fool." Bruck growled softly enough so that others could not hear about the cheering. "You should never have agreed to fight me. You can't win."

Bruck's shocking white hair was tied in a ponytail, and sweat stood out in droplets on his brow. He wore heavily padded black body armor. The odor of burned flesh and singed hair hung heavily in the air. Both warriors had managed to hit one another, but the touches so far had not been firm strikes.

Around the arena, many of the younger initiates cheered, calling out encouragement to Bruck or Obi-Wan. All of them had heard of the fight last night. Obi-Wan heard Bant shout "Courage, Obi-Wan. You're doing well!" Garen Muln whistled through his teeth.

"You mean that _you_ can't win!" Obi-Wan told Bruck scornfully as their training lightsabers tangled and sizzled. "Your failure today will signal to everyone that you are not just a loser, but a liar." 

The Masters had decided the fight would be without blindfolds. Bruck's face was close, and his eyes glared at Obi-Wan with hate. The moment stretched, extended. In Bruck's eyes Obi-Wan saw a future mapped out for him, a future in which anger ruled him and he began to hate all who opposed him.

Obi-Wan reached out for the Force. He felt it flow around him, but he could not fully grasp it. Here was he boy who stood between him and his dream, who mocked him, who tricked him. He pushed against Bruck and saw the surprise in the boy's eyes as he fell backward. 

Obi-Wan took advantage of Bruck's uncertainty to aim a sizzling attack at Bruck's face. Bruck ducked and slashed at Obi-Wan's feet. Obi-Wan leaped high in the air.

As a child, Obi-Wan had learned by fighting older students to avoid flashy attacks that wasted energy. Instead, he'd been trained to fight defensively, to block blows with small movements, or to avoid them.

Instead of waiting to gauge Bruck's attack strategy, Obi-Wan attacked suddenly and furiously. Bruck tried to block the attacks, but Obi-Wan's lightsaber met Bruck's with stinging power. Bruck nearly dropped his weapon.

Obi-Wan brandished his lightsaber in both hands, swinging brutally. Bruck tried to block a second time, and fell back, sprawling. His lightsaber switched off and went skittering over the uneven floor.

Obi-Wan slammed down, a decisive blow that should have won the bout, but Bruck managed to roll aside and grab his lightsaber. He barely had time to switch it on before Obi-Wan's lightsaber battered down again.

This time, there was no blocking the blow. Bruck's lightsaber was knocked back into him. Obi-Wan caught Bruck cleanly between the eyes, burning his hair and scorching his skin.

Bruck cried out in pain as both lightsabers burned him, and Yoda announced, "Enough!"

All around the arena, the initiates shouted and cheered. Bant's eyes were shining, and Reeft's wrinkled face held more creases due to his wide smile.

Obi-Wan backed away, panting. Sweat ran down his arms and face; his muscles ached from exertion. His head swam with dizziness. 

Yet he had never tasted such sweet triumph. He glanced into the shadows around the arena, and saw Na'em Retsam watching him. The Jedi Master gave him the briefest rod, then began speaking to Yoda. 

Obi-Wan tried to keep his rising exhilaration in check. He bowed to Yoda and the rest of the Masters. Then he couldn't' resist raising his lightsaber in the air to the cheers of his friends. Obi-Wan grinned and shook the lightsaber at a proud Bant, Reeft and Garen Muln. Perhaps he'd won more than an important fight. Perhaps he had won the right to become a Padawan.

The cheers still rang in his ears as he went to the dressing chamber. He showered and changed into a fresh tunic. He was tossing his stained tunic into the laundry container when Na'em Retsam entered the room. **

"You fought well."

Obi-Wan turned quickly and was surprised to see Master Retsam standing before him. "Thank-you for your compliment, I tried my best." Obi-Wan replied humbly.

"Do or do not, there is no try." Na'em said with a small smile.

"Well I suppose I _did_ my best then." Obi-Wan returned. He kept a straight face but instead he was glowing, positively glowing.

Na'em studied the boy before nodding, "You did. Have you been accepted as anyone's apprentice yet?" He asked.

Obi-Wan shook his head slowly, "No sir. You are the first one to speak with me."

"Then would you care to be my Padawan?" 

The words were a surprise. Obi-Wan had hoped of course, but never expected. This was the best thing that could happen to him, the very best. "Yes Master Retsam, I would be honored to be your Padawan." As Obi-Wan said the words he felt the Force whispering to him. At the time he had brushed it off, assuming it was his imagination, but the strange feeling of dread and danger kept coming back.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *

Obi-Wan shook his head, why hadn't he listened to that feeling? His instinct had always been good, yet at the time when he most needed to listen he had pushed them away. Now, because of his stupidity, he was beaten, sitting with his back and legs bruised and crying his eyes out. 

After he had become Master Retsam's Apprentice they had gone back to Na'em's quarters. Na'em had bone straight into telling his rules. For over an hour he had lectured, explaining every rule and expectation. There were certainly a lot of them too. Master Retsam even had rules for the rules!

The first time he had realized that his new Master wasn't quite the kind man he had appeared was a month later, near his thirteenth birthday. Obi-Wan had been rather moody that day, causing him to be more disrespectful than usual…

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"What did you say to me?" Na'em shouted. His eyes were flashing and Obi-Wan could feel his anger. Unfortunately it didn't calm him one bit.

"I said, get the datapad yourself! You're so lazy and I'm treated like a slave around here! News flash- I'm not your slave to do your bidding!" Obi-Wan yelled back. There was, of course, no truth behind that statement at all, at least not at the moment. Obi-Wan was just tired and moody and didn't feel like himself. He was actually treated very well; his Master had been very kind and understanding, until now that is. 

With lightning speed Na'em grabbed Obi-Wan by the braid and tossed him over the arm of the couch. Only seconds later the boy's pants were down and Na'em was preparing to deliver several hard swats to his Apprentice's posterior.

"This is to teach you some manners and respect." The Knight growled as his large hand connected with the boy's rear. Several times Na'em swatted Obi-Wan and it wasn't until the boy's entire backside was red and obviously very tender did he stop. Obi-Wan was sobbing so hard that he was nearly choking when his Master roughly pulled him to his feet.

"Now, go fetch that datapad like I said and then go to bed. I don't want to hear another word from you until morning!" Master Retsam's voice was stern and Obi-Wan could only nod and obey. The boy was too shocked to do anything else. To shocked and definitely too scared...

   [1]: mailto:freckles5000@hotmail.com



	2. Chapter 2

Obi-Wan shuddered as he remembered that night

Obi-Wan shuddered as he remembered that night. It had been the first beating he had received from his new Master but it definitely wouldn't be the last. Whenever he did something to displease Na'em, no matter how small and insignificant, he paid for it with another beating. 

*****

The morning after that first spanking Obi-Wan had awakened afraid that Na'em would still be angry with him. To his surprise his Master was very cheerful and agreeable. Truthfully, had it not been for the throbbing in his backside he would have thought it all a dream.

*****

Obi-Wan laughed cynically. A dream...how he wished this whole thing was just a terribly bad dream...

*****

For several days after that first beating Obi-Wan was as obedient and agreeable as possible. He actually began to think that perhaps it had been a one-time thing. It wasn't until several weeks later that anything happened.

Na'em had just received word that a previous Padawan of his, Joli, had been killed on a mission. Joli had been Na'ems first and favorite Padawan and the news of her death socked him deeply. For nearly a week Na'em seemed lost and confused until one day he just suddenly snapped out of it. He became his usual self, or at least that's what it seemed. 

Soon however, he began to experience terrible mood swings. H would be fine one minute and angry or upset the next. The slightest infraction would set him off and more than once Obi-Wan found himself being scolded harshly. At first the irate Master just yelled, scolded and reprimanded Obi-Wan, though it was harsh. Then he began banishing the young teen to his room for the rest of an evening or making him spend long hours in meditation. Although Obi-Wan knew his Master was overreacting he didn't complain. The boy knew that it could be a whole lot more painful if Na'em wanted it to be. 

So the boy put up with it and soon it became part of his daily schedule to spend several hours meditating on a "wrong choice" he had made. He grew so accustomed to it that he almost forgot how angry his Master truly was. Almost...

(A few days later)

Obi-Wan ran down the Temple corridors, hoping he wasn't waking anyone up. The thirteen year old was, as usual, late. His curfew was at eight o'clock but he had forgotten again, and now was racing back in hopes he could get there before Na'em got out of his meeting.

The first time he had been late had been before Joli's death and Obi-Wan had been let of with a warning to be on time the next time. A second time had resulted in five hours spent in meditation and a day of confinement. Somehow he was afraid that this time his punishment wouldn't' be so light. Unfortunately for him, he was right...

Obi-Wan hurried through the door only to stop short once inside. Na'em was standing there staring at his Padawan with an angry gleam in his eye. It wasn't hard to guess that he was in one of his bad moods.

"You're late." Master Retsam said, his voice tight with anger.

"Forgive me Master, I lost track of time." Obi-Wan said quietly.

Na'em grabbed the boy by his shoulder, his grip as hard as iron. Obi-Wan winced, he could feel his shoulder bruising already and his Master had barely touched him yet.

"I'll teach you to waste time! You're a Jedi and you shouldn't be 'forgetting' things like this!" With those words Obi-Wan's heart sank. He knew he was going to get a beating and he was scared. 

Na'em dragged his Apprentice to the couch and roughly threw him over the arm. With his left hand he held Obi-Wan down and with his right he pulled off his belt. It only took him a moment to pull off Obi-Wan's tunic. Master Retsam then proceeded to hit the young boy's back, rear and legs with his belt, not bothering to aim or pay attention to what, or where, he was hitting.

The pain Obi-Wan was experiencing was more than he'd ever felt before. It didn't take long before he was sobbing. Soon he was begging his Master to stop, but Na'em turned a deaf ear to his Padawan's pleas. Instead he put more effort into the beating, each swat more painful than the one before.

"Master, please!" The boy chocked out, "Please stop!" He was begging but at the moment he didn't care. He knew that he didn't deserve this kind of a punishment for his small infraction and all he wanted was for the pain to stop.

"You will take your punishment without complaint!" Was the only reply Na'em gave, "I will stop when, and only when, I feel you've learned your lesson!"

Ten minutes, and several swats later, Na'em stopped the punishment. Obi-Wan's entire backside, from his shoulders to his knees, was covered in welts. The skin was raw and very sensitive to the touch. At the moment he felt as though he were dying. Obi-Wan didn't even want to imagine the kind of pain he'd feel in the morning.

"Go to bed. Tomorrow we will be in the gym working on lightsaber drills." Master Retsam ordered. 

Obi-Wan couldn't answer. Instead he only nodded and stumbled into his room. The pain seemed unbearable and Obi-Wan spent several hours that night applying bacta and focusing on releasing the pain.

*****

At first the punishments Obi-Wan had received were for disobeying but now he realized, anything could set the man off. Master Retsam had overreacted to Obi-Wan's tardiness, this was true, but he did have some reason behind it. However there were more punishments, these much more painful, in the poor boy's future...

Obi-Wan shook his head while wincing at the pain. How could he have been so stupid? He had known that Master Retsam had mood swings that often turned out to be dangerous for those in hi way, Obi-Wan mainly. But even with all this the teen still didn't do anything. Instead he began to think that it was his fault, that he deserved all this and was bringing it upon himself.

***

The next morning when Obi-Wan woke up he could barely move. There was no way that he could participate in a lightsaber exercise and still perform well, yet if he didn't show up his punishment would only be worse. Carefully he made hi way into the main room, expecting to find Master Retsam sitting there, but instead all he saw was a datapad on the desk.

**Obi-Wan,**

I have a meeting with one of the other Masters. I'll meet you at the gym after your last class today. Don't be late!

**Tardiness is inexcusable -remember this.**

**-Master Retsam**

Obi-Wan shuddered at the thought of another one of his Master's "corrections". The next one could very well be the one that kills him. With a sigh the boy began to gather his things for class.

(a few hours later)

After class Obi-Wan hurried towards the gym. He was determined to be on time and actually would have made it had he not run into someone...

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Please forgive me, I was in such a hurry..." The boy trailed off when he realized whom he had bumped into.

"That's okay Kenobi, or actually Padawan Kenobi by the looks of it." Qui-Gon Jinn said with a smile.

"Yessir, Master Retsam took me as his Padawan. I've been with him for nearly a year." The boy replied.

Qui-Gon watched Obi-Wan curiously. He expected a grin or smile of some sort when he mentioned being a Padawan. Or at least that's how most new Padawans responded. Obi-Wan however seemed upset, nervous and anxious. "Are you alright?" He asked carefully.

"Yessir. Fine. Just wondering how upset my Master will be for my tardiness. I was supposed to meet him for practice several minutes ago." The boy forced a smile, "I need to go. Perhaps we can continue this conversation some other time sir?" He half asked, half stated.

"Of course, I wouldn't want you being too late." The Jedi Master patted the boy on the shoulder. He noticed Obi-Wan stiffen and draw in a sharp breath but the Padawan didn't say anything. Something wasn't right but he didn't want to make things worse than they already were so he remained quiet.

When Obi-Wan arrived at the gym he was flushed, out of breath, and definitely late. He tried to explain but Na'em only scowled, "Go back to our quarters. You have wasted my time, not to mention the fact that you are several minutes late, as per usual. This is becoming a bad habit that I must break you of." Na'em said angrily.

Obi-Wan trembled but obeyed. The thirteen-year old knew what was coming and dreaded it. To resist, however, would prove stupid and he could only hope Na'em took pity on him…


	3. Chapter 3

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_Pity? _Yeah right! Master Retsam had been angrier than the night before and things were only getting worse for Obi-Wan. Each time he got into trouble things just become more and more unbearable. At least twice a week, if not more, he found himself being thrown over the arm of the couch for another long and painful beating. In reality he was actually starting to believe that he deserved a beating for every infraction. On Na'em's good days Obi-Wan often got off with just a couple of swats or a slap to the face and Obi-Wan began to feel that he was lucky because of it.

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When Na'em returned to their quarters a little while later Obi-Wan was hiding in his room. He heard his Master enter their quarters and immediately curled into a ball behind his sleep couch. His back still ached from the night before and somehow he didn't' think today was going to be any better.

"Obi-Wan! Obi-Wan come out here!" Master Retsam called. A few seconds later the boy came timidly out of his room.

"Yes sir?" His voice wobbled and his hands shook.

"I spoke with Master Jinn today and he told me why you were late to training. Because it wasn't completely your fault and I'm in a good mood I've decided not to punish you for it. But _don't_ let it happen again! Understood?" Na'em was very intimidating and Obi-Wan knew that he was extremely lucky.

"Yes sir, thank you sir." Obi-Wan stammered.

"Don't thank me, thank Qui-Gon. Now, because of this incident you missed a great deal of training. So, in order to make up for it…

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For some strange reason the next few weeks were good ones. It wasn't until two months later that anything else happened. Obi-Wan had to admit though; it was partially his fault. If only he hadn't been passing notes in class perhaps his Instructor wouldn't have decided to contact Na'em…

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Obi-Wan sat in the empty classroom, staring at his hands. He was being forced to remain for several hours after class for passing notes. The biggest problem wasn't staying in the classroom but was the fact that this was his third infraction. Truly he didn't start it this time, Bant had passed him a note first and he was just replying. But his Instructor, Anteles, hadn't seen it that way. Bant, because she had another class, would spend several hours of her free time in class later on. Unfortunately Anteles had decided that three times was three times too many and she was contacting Na'em Retsam.

At the moment Master Jinn was talking with Anteles so the boy didn't have anything to do but look at his hands and hope today was one of his Master's good days. If it wasn't, well he probably wouldn't be participating in his acrobatics class tomorrow.

The boy was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't notice the door to the classroom sliding open until his Master's presence filled the room and he was ordered by a rather irate Master to wait outside. Obi-Wan stammered a 'yes master' before hurrying out. A few seconds later Qui-Gon followed, his meeting finished.

"Are you okay?"

Obi-Wan looked up from the bench where he sat, "At the moment." Was his blunt reply.

Qui-Gon looked at the boy curiously. They both knew he was in trouble but from the Padawan's actions this were apparently more serious then everyone thought. 

"Something's troubling you." It wasn't a question and both knew it but Obi-Wan answered anyway. "Yes sir. I'm in quite a bit of trouble. My Master doesn't think that receiving three warnings is acceptable and he's right. After the first one, well – let me just say that I don't usually get in trouble for the same thing more than once if I can help it."

"It was only a minor infraction. It warrants nothing more than a light punishment." Qui-Gon responded. He was just a little worried about the boy.

"Even light punishments aren't pleasant Master."

Qui-Gon didn't get a chance to reply because Na'em came out about that time.

"Come with me Obi-Wan." He said, his voice iron hard.

"Yessir." The boy answered, "Thank you for your concerns Master Jinn." He whispered before hurrying away.

As Qui-Gon watched the child walk away a vision flashed before his eyes. He heard sobs and saw red. Everything was red and the sobs were accompanied by words. He couldn't make out what was being said but the voice seemed to be begging, begging for mercy. The sobs grew louder until suddenly they were silenced and then all was black.

As quickly as it had come it disappeared and all was normal, but Qui-Gon still couldn't shake the scene and feeling of dread from his mind…

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Once back in their quarters Na'em turned to the boy but before he could say anything Obi-Wan cut in, "Please sir, all I did was reply to Bant! I didn't do anything! Please don't be angry with me." He begged, his eyes full of fear.

"You have been in trouble several times already and I have no choice but to teach you a lesson." Na'em relied in low tone that scared the boy even more than his yelling.

Obi-Wan backed away, shaking his head, "No." He whispered.

"What did you say to me?" Na'em growled.

"I…I said…no." He stammered, trying to gather strength to stand up to his Master.

"Wrong Answer!"

Before Obi-Wan could blink his eye Na'em brought the back of his hand across the boy's cheek. The blow was so hard that it caused him to fall onto the floor. As his head smashed into the floor he gave a small cry but Master Retsam didn't seem to notice. A few seconds later he was jerked to his feet, only to be knocked down again. Several times this was repeated before Na'em finally stopped slapping him.

Obi-Wan was crying silently as Na'em pulled him towards the couch. To resist would be futile and the boy knew it. So he went without fighting and prepared himself for the beating that was to come…

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That was how Obi-Wan had ended up here – beaten, bruised, bloody, and covered in welts. _If only I had listened to my feelings so many months ago!_  Why was I stupid?

_ _

Obi-Wan wanted to move to his sleep couch but he was in too much pain. His legs and his back were burning, as though they had been lit on fire, and his whole body ached.

Na'em had really gone off on him this time and at the moment he wished his Master had gone a little but further and left him unconscious. At least if that had happened he wouldn't be feeling any of this severe pain at the moment. But his Master was that kind and didn't have that much pity in him. Na'em wanted Obi-Wan to know the consequences of disobeying and he was going to make sure that it never happened again, no matter what the result. 

Finally, after much debating Obi-Wan decided it would be easier, and much less painful, if he just stayed where he was for the night. Carefully he stretched out on the floor, whimpering as his back bumped the wall. After several minute of careful adjusting he lay down and closed his eyes, preparing himself or a restless and painful night.

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The next morning Obi-Wan stayed in his room. Na'em had told him after the beating the night before that for he next two days he was restricted to their quarters. He would be allowed no communication with anyone outside their quarters and wasn't even permitted to go to class. 

Yeah but all he wants is to keep people from seeing my bruised face… 

The words, his very own thoughts, both shocked and scared the thirteen-year old boy. The feeling that he had, this feeling of dread, was so very real that it had to be true.

For the next two days Obi-Wan remained in his room, hiding in the corner behind his sleep couch. Really, it didn't offer much protection but it seemed to make him feel a little more secure, so that is where he stayed. The only time he left the corner was to eat and that only took a few minutes. This corner was becoming his security corner; his "safe place" and it would be the corner that he would retreat to for many months to come…

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Finally, on the second day, Na'em came into Obi-Wan's room. The Master hadn't spoken to his Apprentice for nearly forty-eight hours and Obi-Wan was truly afraid of what his Master wanted him for. Another beating would be too much and the boy was sure he would die during the next one.

"The Council is sending me on a mission. Because of the danger level they have ordered me to leave you here. Because of your obedience, or lack of, they have chosen another Jedi Master to stay with you while I'm away. I expect you to be obedient and compliant. When I return I don't want to hear of you causing trouble. Am I clear on this?" Na'em asked, his tone hard and unforgiving.

Obi-Wan nodded, frightened by the tone, "Yes sir. I will be on my best behavior."

"Good. Master Jinn will be arriving in a few hours and then I will be leaving. You may want to get yourself cleaned up." The Master said, eyeing the boy's rumpled and blood-stained tunic.

The boy could only nod and hurry to obey. _Master Jinn? Staying with me? I don't know if this is necessarily a good thing…_ He was jerked out of his thoughts by the agonizing pain he felt. Although he had been applying bacta every day he wasn't completely healed, and the scars were still there. Because of the tenderness of his back Obi-Wan hadn't taken a shower since the beating. Now, however, the jet stream of water hit painful spots on his body, causing jolts of pain to shoot through him. 

After several seconds of fighting with the faucet he was able to lower the water pressure and continue with his shower. Now the water felt good on his raw back.  Truly, he could have stayed here forever if Na'em hadn't chosen that moment to bang on the door and yell for him to get out and get ready. 

Twenty minute later the teen was washed and dressed in fresh, clean clothes; his bloody tunic in a hamper under his bed. Obi-Wan was just about to ask his Master about the mission when someone knocked on their door. He answered it and was somewhat surprised to see Master Jinn there already.

"Hello Obi-Wan." Qui-Gon smiled, "Is it okay if I come in?"

Obi-Wan stepped back quickly with a respectful bow, "Hello Master Jinn. My Master is in his room packing the last of his things."

"I just finished actually." Na'em said with a smile as he stepped into the room. "Hello Qui-Gon, I'm glad you could come. Obi-Wan is on his last day of restriction so he is to remain in our quarters until tomorrow, unless he's at class or training. After that it's up to you whether or not he can go anywhere. My Apprentice knows the rules but you must keep an eye on him, the boy is always in trouble as I'm sure you know. "Na'em gave Obi-Wan a look before glancing at his chrono, "My star cruiser leaves in a couple of minutes so I should be going. I'll see you in a couple of months." He looked back at his Apprentice, "Behave." He said quietly before leaving. 

Qui-Gon watched the exchange curiously. This wasn't a normal Master/Padawan goodbye. Usually there was more of a caring exchange. Instead Na'em was very cold towards Obi-Wan. It was as if the man didn't even want the boy around… The Jedi Knight shook his head, that couldn't be true. Master Retsam was probably just a little irked with the boy for his actions from the previous day, he was sure it was just a misunderstanding. But Obi-Wan's fearful look told him otherwise…


	4. Chapter 4

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Obi-Wan sat in his room reading a datapad for class. It had only been a couple of weeks since his Master had left but still he was tense and nervous. He didn't know Master Jinn very much, and all that Obi-Wan wanted was to stay out of trouble. Another beating was not something he wanted, considering he still had the marks from the last one. Sure, the pain had left but the scars remained on his back and as far as he could tell they would be there forever.

He would have been in the main room reading but he wasn't comfortable during that. During the last months that Na'em had been here, Obi-Wan had been afraid to remain in the main room of the quarters for fear of doing something that would anger the Master. He didn't know how Master Jinn would react to misdemeanors but he certainly didn't want to find out. 

"It's getting late Obi-Wan. Perhaps you ought to retire for the night." Qui-Gon said from the door way in his usually low voice.

"Yes sir." 

The Jedi Master watched the boy quietly. This wasn't the same Obi-Wan that he had seen fighting to become a Padawan so many months ago. Instead this boy was quieter, and more nervous. Something had happened while staying with Na'em that the rest of the Temple didn't know about, something very bad. He was jerked out of his disconcerting thoughts by Obi-Wan's quiet voice. 

"Are we going to be practicing in the gym tomorrow Master Jinn?" 

"I thought I'd give you the day off. We had a pretty hard workout this afternoon. Tomorrow evening will just be for relaxing." Qui-Gon replied. From the boy's startled expression he decided that Na'em must not be real big on breaks. 

Obi-Wan bowed and murmured a quiet "thank you sir" before putting away his datapad. Master Jinn seemed to be a much kinder man than his own Master. Na'em would never have given him an evening just for relaxation. But things were not always as they seemed. The boy remembered how he had once thought that Na'em was one of the kindest men he knew. How stupid and naïve he had been so many months ago. He wasn't going to let himself be fooled again; there was no way he would be that stupid once more… 

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

The next evening Obi-Wan sat at the table in his quarters, finishing up his assignments, and waiting for Master Jinn to return. Once the Jedi Knight got here they would eat and then the boy would be free to do as he pleased, as long as he was back by eight o'clock. 

When Qui-Gon came through the door Obi-Wan glanced up with a smile but when he saw the look on the Jedi Master's face his own smile fell. There was something wrong. Qui-Gon had a sense of dread and sorrow about him, as though the worst had just happened. 

"What's wrong Master Jinn?" Obi-Wan asked, hurrying towards the elder.

"Nothing Obi-Wan, I'm sure everything will be okay." Qui-Gon said quietly.

"What will be okay? What are you worried about Master Jinn?" 

"I'm not even sure that there is anything to be worried about anyway." The Jedi Master forced a smile; "You just have fun for the evening."

"Are you sure you're okay?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice full of concern.

"Yes, everything should be fine. Now go have some fun." Qui-Gon patted Obi-Wan on the shoulder and was surprised when the boy stiffened. He actually seemed to be scared of him! But before the Master could comment Obi-Wan pulled away, 

"If you're sure everything is okay then I'll go. I'm supposed to meet Bant at the lake anyway." Obi-Wan whispered, heading towards the door.

Qui-Gon nodded, "Have fun." He said, but Obi-Wan had already hurried out the door. _Why did he stiffen like that? Have I done something to frighten him? _Qui-Gon's thoughts bothered him and replayed over and over in his head, no matter how hard he fought them away. He knew that something was wrong; he had a gut feeling about it, but what the exact incident was he didn't know…

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          

Ten minutes after eight o'clock Obi-Wan came hurrying into the quarters. Qui-Gon was surprised that the boy hadn't tried to sneak in as most young Padawan's do when they are tardy. He wondered if he would have to say something to the boy about punctuality. However, he needn't have worried for Obi-Wan brought it up himself the minute he walked through the door.

"I'm sorry Master Jinn for my tardiness." Obi-Wan said quickly, hoping the older man wouldn't be too very angry with him.

Qui-Gon waited for an explanation. After a couple of quiet, uncomfortable minutes he spoke again, "Do you wish to explain _why_ you were late?" He asked. 

Obi-Wan looked up, surprised. He wasn't usually asked for a reason, most of the time Na'em just reacted without waiting for an explanation. "Well sir, I was stopped in the hall by a friend and they wanted some help on a problem in our Diplomatic Class. We talked about it for a few minutes and by the time I finished explaining it was already a few minutes after eight. I'm sorry I wasn't quicker and if you're angry with me I fully understand." He said quietly.

"I'm not angry Obi-Wan. Why would I be? You just stopped to help a friend. That is a good reason to be late, and it isn't like you were hours late, it's only ten minutes." Qui-Gon's voice was calm and smooth, not a hint of anger in it. But Obi-Wan knew better than to believe that, if he did he knew what would happen. In a few days Qui-Gon would become controlling and start the angry mood swings just like his own Master. Then the beatings would start again and he'd spend the days scared to go back to his quarters and the evenings afraid that tonight would be the night that he died from one of the man's rages…

"Thank you sir. If it's alright with you I'll be going to bed now." Obi-Wan's voice was quiet and respectful and, was that a hint of fear in his voice?

"That's fine Obi-Wan. I'll see you in the morning." 

"Good night Master Jinn." With a quick bow the boy hurried to his room where he could hide in his safety corner. 

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

For the next few days Qui-Gon was preoccupied and worried. The Force around him seemed to be filled with a strange sorrow, either that or his feelings would be blocked off completely. Obi-Wan noticed this and watched the older man carefully. When Na'em had been like this he had suddenly gotten over it and that's when the mood swings had started. Because of that the boy kept an eye on Qui-Gon, in hopes that he could avoid an angry outburst when it finally came.

One night, several days after Obi-Wan started keeping watch on the Jedi Master, he was awakened in the middle of the night by the communication unit beeping. He strained to hear what was being said but Master Jinn's voice was too quiet. Suddenly he felt a burst of regret and distress before it disappeared. Almost instantly he hurried out into the main room, only to find the conversation over. 

"Master Jinn?" He asked hesitantly.

Qui-Gon turned to the boy with a sad look in his eyes, "Sit down Obi-Wan, I need to speak with you about something." Qui-Gon's voice was neutral and void of any emotion but they both knew that there was sorrow hidden beneath

When the boy had complied Qui-Gon turned toward him, "We have received news today about the planet where your Master had been for his mission. While he was there, attempting to bring peace between two fighting races, war broke out. He was caught in the middle, at the front lines." Here Qui-Gon stopped. He truly didn't understand why the Council had chosen him to be the bearer of bad news. Perhaps it was because he was staying with Obi-Wan, or perhaps it was because of his fondness for the boy that Master Yoda sensed, whichever it was he was wishing it hadn't existed. He just knew that this would break the poor child's heart; it wasn't easy receiving word like this. 

"Please sir, what happened?" Obi-Wan choked out. 

"There were too many blaster's Obi-Wan, too many weapons. A Jedi cannot defend off that all that shooting with just a lightsaber, not even a Jedi Master." Qui-Gon paused before continuing, "He was killed a couple of hours ago. They haven't returned his body yet but we are hoping the tribe holding it will have the kindness to allow him a proper Jedi funeral."

Obi-Wan stared in surprise and shock, _Master Na'em dead? Dead? This had to be a joke!_  "Please don't toy with me like this Master Jinn. This is the cruelest joke I've ever heard." He managed to choke out.

"Please Obi-Wan, forgive me for bringing you this ill news, but it is not a cruel joke. Every word I speak is the truth." Qui-Gon's voice was laced with grief.

"Then it's true? He's really dead? Master Na'em will never come back?" 

"Yes Obi-Wan, it's true. Didn't you feel his death? Didn't you feel anything at all through your bond?" Qui-Gon asked, confused now.

"I don't have a very good bond with my Master, I didn't feel anything." The boy mumbled truthfully. Well, it was at least half-truth. He_ didn't _feel anything but at the same time he didn't have any sort of a bond with his Master at all. His pride and embarrassment kept him from telling Qui-Gon that though.

"You didn't feel anything?" Qui-Gon asked, awed.

"No sir. Not a thing. Are you sure he's dead?" Obi-Wan responded.

Qui-Gon nodded sadly, "Yes child, he's dead."

At those words tears began to fall from Obi-Wan's eyes. Slowly they rolled down his cheeks and off his chin. The more he tried to control the tears the more fell, but this weren't the same tears of pain that he had cried so many times during the past few months after a beating. Instead these were tears of happiness, even though he knew that it had to be wrong he couldn't control it. _No more of his rages, no more of his beatings, no more of my Master…_Suddenly he got fearful, he didn't have a Master anymore! "M…master Jinn, Master Jinn what will happen to me now?" 

Qui-Gon shook his head quietly; the boy's open grief shocked him. Na'em must have meant a lot to this child, "I'm not sure Obi-Wan, we'll probably find out about that later. At this moment the Council hasn't made a decision, perhaps you may be placed with another Master, or you may be given a mission someplace else."

"You mean the Agri-Corps." Obi-Wan whispered.

"Yes, I am speaking of the Agri-Corps."

At these words Obi-Wan's tears came out in a rush, only this time they weren't the tears of joy that had been flowing minute before, but tears of fear, confusion and most of all abandonment…

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

 Qui-Gon's heart melted at the sight of this boy crying. Gently he hugged the boy but was surprised when Obi-Wan stiffened and pulled away, once again avoiding physical contact. "I'm sorry Obi-Wan. I promise I'll do everything I can to help bring back your Master's body and I'll do what I can to help you stay here at the Temple. You're a bright boy and Agri-Corps would be a waste of your talents if you ask me." Qui-Gon said as kindly as he could. He wanted so much to encourage the boy but nothing seemed to be working.

Obi-Wan seemed to get a hold of himself when Qui-Gon spoke, "I'm sorry Master Jinn for my emotional outburst. It seems I'm just tired and this news was shocking. Thank you for you encouragement but I'm sure I'll be fine, and I don't want to cause anyone any problems. If it's alright with you sir I'd like to go back to bed. I have a busy day tomorrow." He said, his voice strangely distant and slightly cold.

Qui-Gon could only nod. _The poor boy! He's in shock and he's taking this so hard! I knew it would be painful but I didn't know it would be this bad. The poor boy…_ "If you want Obi-Wan, you can sleep in tomorrow morning. You can be excused from you classes for the next couple of days if you wish." The Knight said as soon as he got his voice.

The boy turned from the door of his room, "Thank you but no thanks. I can continue with my classes, I wouldn't want to fall behind." He whispered before disappearing into the safety of his room and his special corner.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

For the next two weeks Obi-Wan continued through his regular routine but he did it without a thought. At first it was as though he was a droid, following orders but not fully comprehending. Sure, he was capable of conversation but he was still shocked. Later he became more came out of the shock but he stayed withdrawn and quiet, even more so than usual. _It won't take long _he thought _before they decide to send me to Agri-Corps. Then everything I ever worked for will be over. I almost wish Master was here…_These thoughts pained him because more than anything he _didn't _want Na'em back – but if it would be all that kept him from Agri-Corps he could gladly accept it.

Qui-Gon remained with Obi-Was as his guardian and temporary Master. He had a strange fondness for this boy and he didn't want to leave him alone. What he wanted was to stay with Obi-Wan and find out what was wrong with him. Find out why he was like this and what was going on. Finally Qui-Gon realized what he truly wanted. For weeks the Force had been whispering to him, telling him something and now he knew what it was. 

The Jedi Master waited for a few days, and on one of Obi-Wan's better days, a day when he was a little more open and cheerful, Qui-Gon pulled him aside in their quarters to talk to him. "Obi-Wan I have an important question to ask you." He began. Obi-Wan waited and the Qui-Gon continued, "I want to know, Obi-Wan Kenobi, if you would like to become my Padawan Learner." There, he had said it! Now all he had to do was wait for the boy's answer.

Obi-Wan stared at Qui-Gon with surprise, _is he truly asking me? Can I trust him? Will he hurt me like Na'em? _

_ _

_Of course he's asking you, you idiot! Who else would he be asking! And besides, would you rather risk being with him or do you want to go to Agri-Corps and loose everything?_ His brain argued back at him.

But I don't want to be hurt again! I trusted Na'em and then he hurt me so bad! What if Qui-Gon does that to me? I wouldn't be able to take it!  
  


_Qui-Gon doesn't have a dead apprentice to send him into bad mood swings. If you behave everything will be all right. Besides, if you need to you'll always be able to retreat here, in the back of your mind. It's always safe here – accept!_

_ _

_All right, I'll accept. _Obi-Wan finally finished arguing with himself and turned bright blue eye to his new Master, "Yes Master Jinn, I would be honored to be your Padawan Learner." The boy said respectfully, and with a slight bit of hope in his voice. 

Qui-Gon patted the boy on the shoulder with a smile, "Come along then Padawan, lets get your things and we can move into your new quarters."

As those words were spoken something in Obi-Wan snapped and he slipped his hand into Qui-Gon's. Somehow those words, the encouragement and kindness behind them, broke his fear but it was the love that finished it off. It was the love that let him realize that all would be okay. Na'em had never called him Padawan, not even once, but Qui-Gon had said it right away, and Qui-Gon loved him.

Qui-Gon glanced at the boy in surprise and then smiled. This boy would someday make a great Jedi and he would have been the one to train him. Gently he squeezed Obi-Wan's hand before he started to establish a bond between the two. As their minds connected he could feel Obi-Wan's awe and amazement. Apparently he truly _hadn't _had any sort of a bond with Na'em before. The Jedi Master smiled again as Obi-Wan reached out for his mind, experimenting with their new bond. Now their bond was truly started and they were beginning a new life together. A new life that would hopefully remain happy forever…__


	5. The Conclusion

For several months Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon lived together peacefully

For several months Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon lived together peacefully. Never once was there a disagreement and Obi-Wan behaved perfectly. He knew, of course, that Qui-Gon cared about him but he still didn't want to risk making his new Master mad. 

There came a day, however, when Obi-Wan's perfect life seemed to crumble around him and his long-kept secret came out. It was the day he had been dreading since he first accepted Master Jinn's offer of Padawanship, the day he had been avoiding, but it was destined to come and he could do nothing to stop it…

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Obi-Wan sat on his sleep couch, in his room, contemplating what would happen when Qui-Gon got back. The Jedi Master had gone to a meeting with Obi-Wan's Instructors to discuss his Padawan's control, or in this case lack thereof. Obi-Wan had got into a fight with Bruck, his worst enemy, and Instructor Anteles had decided that she wasn't going to deal with it anymore. Instead she ordered them both back to their quarters and called their Master's. Bruck didn't have a Master yet so she would deal with his punishment but Obi-Wan did, and Anteles wasn't going to deal with his misbehavior anymore.

He sat in the room for an hour before he heard the door to his quarters being opened and felt Qui-Gon enter the room. A few seconds later he heard his name being called and the boy quietly went into the main living area. For the first time since he had been with Qui-Gon he was scared again, scared just like he had been with Na'em.

"I had a meeting with Instructor Anteles today." Qui-Gon said, unaware that Anteles had told Obi-Wan about the meeting before hand.

"Yes sir, I know. My Instructor informed me of it when I was sent out of class." Obi-Wan whispered quietly.

"I see. Then you know I am not pleased that you felt the need to fight with this boy." Qui-Gon replied.

"I am sure you are quite upset." His voice wobbled slightly.

"Would you like to explain what happened?" Qui-Gon asked.

Obi-Wan looked up in surprise, he still wasn't used to being allowed to explain his situation, "We were arguing Master, and I'm not exactly sure how it happened. Except that he was teasing me and I responded just as he wanted, out of anger. I let my feelings control me and I shouldn't have. Please Master, I know I did wrong but please don't beat me! I promise I will control myself from now on. I'm prepared to take any punishment you deem fit, but Master please don't beat me." Obi-Wan said, tears starting to form in his eyes. He tried to fight them and was successful in keeping most of them from falling, but a couple of tears did make their way down his face.

Qui-Gon looked at him in surprise _beat him? Where did he get the idea I would do something like that? _Upon seeing the tears running down the boy's face he reached out and pulled his Padawan closer to him. As he did so the boy gasped and stiffened from the pain. Concerned, Qui-Gon lifted up the boy's tunic to look at his back and what he saw appalled him. "Take off your tunic Obi-Wan." He said. Although his voice was quiet it was firm and the boy knew better than to argue. Yet something about those words brought up deep, dark memories. Memories full of pain and fear. He began to shake his head slowly and backed up a step.

Tears started to fall and Obi-Wan couldn't stop them, whether he wanted to or not. The only time that Na'em had ever wanted him to remove his tunic was for another one of his beatings, and he didn't want another beating. Not now, not again, not ever. "Please sir," he choked out. But he couldn't finish his sentence.

Qui-Gon stepped forward and placed a hand on the trembling boy's shoulder, "Obi-Wan, please remove your tunic. I just want to look at the bruises from the fight, that's all. It looks as though Bruck got you pretty bad there and I need to see if you should see a Healer or not. I'm not going to hurt you, I promise." His voice was kind and gentle and Obi-Wan began to calm. He still felt a flutter of fear but he was beginning to learn to trust again, and he knew that he could believe Qui-Gon. Silently he removed the tunic to allow his Master a better view of his back.

Qui-Gon was sure he was going to be sick at the sight before him. Sure, he had expected the bruises from the fight but it was the scars that bothered him. All up and down the boy's back ran long, evil looking scars. "What happened Obi-Wan?" Qui-Gon asked, as he ran his finger along one of the blemishes. 

"I was disobedient sir, and Master Na'em had to punish me for it." The boy whispered. 

"Your Master did this to you?" Qui-Gon asked in disbelief. What kind of monster was Na'em anyhow?

"I was disobedient Master. I know he overreacted sometimes, but that wasn't his fault. He suffered from severe mood swings and depression after Joli died. Master Na'em couldn't help it." 

Qui-Gon couldn't believe that Obi-Wan was protecting the man that had hurt, and from the looks of it nearly killed, him. "Obi-Wan, Na'em should have gone and got special help. It isn't your fault that he did this to you, it's _his_ fault. What could you possibly have done to deserve this?" 

"There were several times I was late getting home, that was a serious infraction. Master Na'em didn't approve of wasted time and I guess I just didn't learn to be on time. Actually Master, the one day I bumped into you and was late to class he would have beaten me had you not told him about it. I suppose I should have thanked you for that but I never got around to it so I guess I'm thanking you now. And then of course there was the day I got into trouble with Instructor Anteles for passing notes. When we got back to our quarters I stood up to Na'em and told him that he wasn't going to beat me, when that didn't work I begged. Instead of getting mercy I got a beating worse than all the other times. That's where most of these scars are from because that was the only time he drew blood. Every other time it just left painful welts for several days. So you see Master, it was my fault." Obi-Wan explained.

"Please don't say that, because it isn't your fault. If the blame should be placed anywhere it should be on me. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't do anything to find out. For that I am truly sorry. I am sorry for not saving you from this." Qui-Gon said, following a scar that started near his shoulder blade and curved all the way down his back.

Obi-Wan couldn't stop the tears this time. He was beginning to realize that it wasn't his fault and that Na'em had truly abused him. But he didn't want Qui-Gon taking the blame. All those years of pent up emotions finally reached a high point and the gates broke, allowing his tears to come freely. 

As he cried Qui-Gon took the boy into his arms and held him close. He didn't speak, only held him and let his love flow through their bond. There wasn't much that words could do right now, it wasn't a time for words anyway, but a time for action. Gently he rocked the boy back and forth mumbling soothing phrases to help calm his Padawan. For over an hour they sat their together, Qui-Gon holding and comforting the poor boy, and together they began the road to recovery…

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          

After several weeks of talking and seeing Healer's, both for the body and for the soul, Obi-Wan was as close to normal as he would get after living through such a harrowing experience. Both Master and Apprentice had been affected and together they went to Soul Healer, Qui-Gon mostly to support his Padawan, hopefully to resolve and heal Obi-Wan's reoccurring fears and the large rift that was between them because of Na'em. 

The Healer's in the Healer Ward of the Temple had been able to remove most of Obi-Wan's scars, but there was one that he bade them to leave alone. It was the scar that curved from his right shoulder to the middle of his back, stopping abruptly near his spine. Had Na'em hit him a few more times, a few centimeters more to the left, his spine could have been damaged, perhaps causing death. When Qui-Gon had asked why he wanted to keep such the reminder of such a painful memory Obi-Wan smiled and replied, "Because Master, that scar tells of story not of only of pain, but of a miracle. Na'em could have continued beating me and could have damaged my spine and perhaps even killed me, but he didn't. For some reason he stopped and it was after I received this scar that you came into my life. You came and I began to trust again, to open up and to realize that not all people are evil, that there _is _kindness out there. Master, I keep the scar as a permanent remind of my near fatal error."

"Obi-Wan," Qui-Gon said, his voice becoming slightly stern, "What have we discussed about blaming yourself for what happened? It wasn't you fault!" 

"I know Master, I wasn't blaming myself this time. Instead I was speaking the truth. I nearly made a fatal error by accepting Master Na'em when I knew something was wrong, and then again when I wouldn't trust you. So Master, I keep the scar so that I will always remember the time and the incidents that were occurring when you came and rescued me from a life that surely would have ended in misery and pain. A life that probably would have ended in someone's death." 

Qui-Gon smiled sadly and pulled the boy close, "You know imp, I don't know what I would have done without you." 

Obi-Wan looked up at his Master but didn't reply, he didn't need to. His contentment, happiness, security and thanks could all be seen in his eyes. Instead the two sat there in the comfortable silence and listened. Listened to the silence, to the air. The felt the living Force flowing softly around them and through them and all was well.

*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *

Prologue

Obi-Wan stood in the large room with Qui-Gon and watched, as the fire consumed the body of his former Master, Na'em Retsam. For several minutes he stood there staring at the flames and wondering how this man could possibly have been so mean to him, yet at the same time been so loved by everyone else. All those present in the room, and there were several of them, mourned the man's death. To many he had been a kind and generous, although strict, man and to a few, a Master. 

As Obi-Wan watched the body burning he tried to decipher his emotions. One part of him was upset with the man, and glad that he was finally gone. And the other part was sad that this great man had died. Both parts hated him, but yet at the same time he didn't hate him at all. He hated Na'em for the things he had done to him, yet he felt pity and sorrow for him because of all that Na'em had suffered. Na'em's mood swings had come from the grief of loosing his former Padawan Joli, and now Na'em would be joining Joli in the Force. Truly, this would be what Na'em wanted. 

_Are you alright Padawan? _Qui-Gon asked quietly, reaching out for signs of hatred and anger. He was surprised to find none.

_Yes Master, I am fine. Don't worry; I do not have any feelings of hatred now. I find that although part of me wants to hate him I know that there is no way I can. Instead I pity him and I feel sorry for him, but I don't hate. _ Obi-Wan assured the man, knowing exactly what his Master was thinking.

I'm glad Padawan, for hatred is an evil and terrible thing. It can destroy you. If you are ready to go we can leave whenever you wish. 

Obi-Wan nodded and turned from the funeral pyre, forever closing the door on that part of his past. Without hesitation he locked the door to his past, allowing himself memories but now allowing himself to dwell in it, and then headed through the door into his new future and a new life…

END

**Author Note: **I know that Na'em Retsam was an evil man – so I even made his name that way. His name has a "meaning". If you spell Na'em Retsam backwards you'll see what I mean (i.e. spell THE CAT backwards = EHT TAC). 


End file.
